Appearance
Funny I thought I was ugly growing up. An insecurity I would never totally shed although I did realize that many people found me attractive. When I was very young I think it came mostly from being different than the children around me, who were all white. I remember praying every night that I would wake up with light skin, blue eyes and blond hair. I remember soaking in the bath and then scrubbing my skin hard to try to wash off the dark skin. In my late teens I began to appreciate my ancestry. I knew that a lot of men noticed me Because I was Asian. I came into my own as they say in my 40s. I understood that I was a very attractive woman "for my age" and seemed to be noticed by men of all ages. Then i started getting old. It seemed to happen overnight. The mirror started showing me a woman who not only looked very old but very ugly again. Sometimes I feel hideously ugly. I Hate having my picture taken. Full circle. I started out that way. I remember school picture day was to...