Yea though I walk

I am dying of a dozen different things but still here. I'm pretty sure I came very close a few times lately. One night while sick with my third virus this year I woke and couldn't breathe.  It felt like my lung capacity was the size of a sandwich baggie. After about 15 minutes I thought to use an inhaler and saved myself. 
If I had died I would have died without any real Last Thoughts. Weird. Maybe i just didn't get that far?? My only thought was I CAN'T BREATHE! No prayers, goodbyes, regrets - nothing.
I still stress sometimes about What Will Happen to my household. The four in my care. But I also accept that they will go on somehow. 
I've lost that feeling of Importance.  That delusion. Maybe I Really Was going to be, do, something someday but I am not and did not. That makes me sad sometimes but I accepted it looking at my Life last year. 
I'm sorry.

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