Suicide

I really seriously thought about killing myself on Christmas.  Usually thinking about the family who Needs me stops such thoughts but that night when I pictured the few remaining family I have starting to Hate me like the rest I didn't want to live to see it. I even considered how to do it. I thought about just taking all my pills but then I was afraid Dr. Gold would get in trouble if i did that. Then i thought about driving my car into a wall but that would leave Jeremy without transportation. 
So I didn't.  But I really don't want to live through any more heartache and i know there will be more. There always is.

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